With respect to bowing
I once told my zen teacher that prolonged periods of sitting meditation were making me a little antsy, a little twitchy. What should I do with this energy? She said I should bow more. "Try eight full prostrations," she said, "or sixteen. If that doesn't work, do one hundred and eight full prostrations." OK OK--at least she didn't hit me with a stick. But bowing is a big deal in Buddhist practice. One bows to the Buddha image upon entering the meditation hall, and to the person seated across, and finally to the cushion upon which one is about to sit. It's a matter of respect and recognition of like spirit.
Much has been made of President Obama's use of the bow when first being presented to the Saudi king and to the emperor of Japan. It has become a popular misconception that to bow is to express submission, rather than to express greeting and respect. President Washington didn't see it that way, but styles of manners have changed in the US--outside of square-dancing anyway.
In Japan, bowing can carry as much or as little nuance as its equivalent American gesture, the handshake. Respective depth and length of bows can be calculated to the millimeter and the microsecond in signaling relative status, just as how long and how strong a grip, how much eye contact, and who offers the hand first can be "read" in American body language. No one expects a foreigner to get a bow, or a handshake, just right, but the effort is taken for the deed. In fact, the president did both with the emperor, offering a hand to shake as he bowed. But regardless of nuance, refusing an offered hand or neglecting a bow altogether are equally serious signs of loutish behavior.
I think any president does well to bow to foreign dignitaries, when a guest in places where that is the customary respectful greeting. Further, in Japan, I would bow when introduced to shopkeepers and schoolteachers and streetcleaners, unless they forestalled it by offering a Western handshake instead. I'm not big on swapping cheek kisses, but in France, I would man-up and do my best. In Saudi Arabia, I would take care not to eat with my left hand, even if I was left-handed, or to show the soles of my shoes when sitting. These are considered unsavory for reasons that are now, thankfully, largely symbolic. And in Rio, I would not use the hand gesture that signals "OK." In Rio it signals--well, never mind what it signals. The point is: local manners are not universally understood. Respect (and disrespect) are.



8 Comments:
Respect is not submissive. You could not be more correct.
It is worth noting that in the 1980's and beyond, business and industry began requiring their employees to take 'culture' classes so that they would not offend their Asian counterparts. Part of that was learning to bow respectfully to each other. Of course, the Asian counterparts were learning about hand-shaking and other American cultural niceties and customs. Why do we have so many people in our country who regard treating people with respect as a sign of weakness? Or do they believe that it's ok to bow for money, but not mutual regard for each other?
It's not the bowing it's politics. G.W. bush held the Saudi Kings hand while they walked. I never quite understood why, but I understood that the U.S. Saudi relationship is important. As the relationship with Japan most certainly is. Now if we could only get the Congress to show respect for each other.
We should not confuse rei with kowtow. Rei is mutual respect. Kowtow is one-sided reverance. Mr. Obama is the essence of mutual respect.
Thanks for the well-informed post on bowing! I was disgusted that Glenn Beck took the bow as an opportunity to further insult President Obama, as if it showed weakness.
While I usually don't have time to read the newsletter/blog, this title definitely got my attention.
I misread the title of this article...thought it said 'bowling'. Made me think of the bowling alley in Canton and the elitist preservation group who thought that no one bowls anymore. Overheard a couple of men talking recently (while waiting in line at the P&C) about the demise of the bowling alley and they were very sad. Said they loved bowling and that the alley in Canton was a large part of their history. The check-out clerk felt the same way.
I feel there is a lack of respect in Canton (as well as in some other places) for the non-elitist population. Seems like the desire is to spruce it up, make it 'pretty,' make it as unnatural as possible with many pavers and paths...sure...to some it looks good...to these old eyes, it looks artificial.
So, actually, I guess bowling does have a lot to do with bowing...and ultimately respect.
I guess the Japanese leader wasn't aware of his disrespect for not returning the bow.
Thank you for this insightful message. A number of years ago I became friends with some members of a Buddist temple near my (then)home in Toronto and returned their bow when greeting them. I think anyone who does use this greeting will instantly understand that it is an expression of mutual respect and has nothing to do with submission.
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